Being an effective leader takes a lot of work. To get the job done effectively, you have to understand how to get work done through others by planning, applying motivational theory, creating development plans, coaching, communicating and training effectively, providing improvement and reinforcement feedback and having a lot of patience and persistence as you follow up and follow through.
It also helps to possess some EQ. Emotional Intelligence is the phrase coined by Daniel Goleman is his 1995 book (entitled Emotional Intelligence.) EQ is the ability to recognize, control, and evaluate your emotions.
Rather than accept ‘who you are’ as all you can be, there ARE things any one can do to improve their EQ. Here are some ideas about how to work on being more self-aware:
– Notice your own emotions, moods, and inner self-talk and how they impact others.
– Pick times throughout the day to notice how you are feeling. Identify negative emotions and how they might have impacted those you work with.
– Think about how you can manage your emotions so that you don’t react impulsively and without some thought.
– Look at past performance and determine where you might not be as strong as you’d like. Ask others for feedback.
– Work of self-regulation – the ability to redirect, control, and slow down the reactions and emotions that impact your ability to be seen as a thoughtful and in control professional.
– Understand what you need to do to rise above stress, frustrations, and arguments.
– Practice not responding immediately, by using the phrase “Thanks for that information. You’ve given me something to think about.”
– Accept that some stress and frustration comes with the job. Rather than having a complaint be your default response, think about what might be a solution.
– Figure out ways to manage stress outside of work. Meditation, exercise, talking with others (for a specific period of time, with a definite ending time) are all ways to get a grip outside of the workplace.
– Identify what you love about your job and focus on those things.
– Create some new goals that inspire and motivate you. If you can, get your boss’s support.
– Try to see things from the other person’s point of view. Let them know that you understand how they might feel and think as they do.
– Engage is active listening. Rather than making statements, ask questions to get to a deeper level of understanding with people.
– Recognize that people and situations are not ‘one size fits all.’ Assume that you will have to tailor your interaction to the person involved.
Developing EQ takes both commitment and time and sometimes working with a consultant can help these new behaviors stick more quickly — but having a strong EQ is becoming more and more essential for professional success. Not only can you learn these skills and get better at using them, others will notice AND you will start to notice a change in how people respond to you.